April 2017 KOL Article

Wed, April 5, 2017

Passover has always been one of the most lonely and difficult times to be a rabbi in Virginia.  We keep kosher.  We keep kosher for Passover.  And that entails so much more than we can do here in Virginia.  On Monday, we spent hours in Maryland buying all the foods that are just not available here in Northern Virginia.  One woman looked at our overflowing carts and said, “You must be from out of town!” with a smile.  Yes, we live on a planet far, far away where most of the things we need for a kosher Passover just don’t exist. — although Wegman’s did have kosher for Passover yogurt – YAY, there were years when there was no Passover dairy products to be had in the Commonwealth!

For the past few years, we spent Passover in Los Angeles. Frankly, it was just easier.  They have everything and don’t run out of anything. You feel as if you are in Israel, rather than the wilderness of Sinai.  It was so easy. Everyone keeps Passover and there are even bakeries and restaurants that are kosher for Passover.   People take the week off, and even non-Jews take off to attend seders with friends.  And moms can buy “Who’s your Rabbi?” bibs for their children in the local supermarket.

For most of recent memory, I have taken off all of Passover week, because it is just too hard to observe the way I need and want to observe here at TBS.  We do the best we can at our wonderful temple, but being here has always required major compromises to my own religious custom and practice as an observant Reform Jew.

That’s the key phrase:  Observant Reform Jew.

Keeping Passover IS part of being a Reform Jew.  Even though many people consider it optional or worse, inconvenient, Passover is neither for any Jew.  We are commanded in the Torah to observe seven days.  In fact, the command states that those who don’t observe will be cut off from the community.  As I explained to my Bar/Bat Mitzvah class, this was a serious commandment that does not include options to skip seders, go on vacation and eat bread, or put other things like convenience or expense ahead of observance.

But, how can a rabbi communicate why this is all important to a congregation in which most of the members do not observe dietary laws most of the year?  How can I share with you why I think the seven-day observance of Passover is good for your soul and your spirit?  I am not sure there is an answer to that question.  What I can share is that I know we live in a self-indulgent, “ME-oriented” world.  So, asking someone to make sacrifices, to do more even when it is not easy or convenient, just seems inconceivable.  And yet, there is great value in keeping Passover and working to increase one’s observance as a spiritual goal.

As your rabbi, in partnership with Rabbi Rappaport who really cares about this subject, too, I want to encourage you to think about how you spend the seven days of Passover.  If you already have your religious practice, GREAT!  But, if you don’t, here are a few things you can do to be a more observant Reform Jew:

1-    Make plans to attend at least one Passover seder (not just a meal with matzah ball soup, but a meal with a haggadah service that is meaningful). You can come to our TBS seder with Rabbi Rappaport if you are craving quality and community.

2-    Remove all bread products from your home.  We begin to start cleaning for Passover the day after Purim, and we stop buying cereals, frozen breakfast foods etc, before that.  Passover observance means no bread, pasta, cereal, rice, beans, peas, corn, corn products and syrups.  I would be happy for you to start with the first three this year.

3-    Have a conversation with all of the family about respecting this choice and keeping a household kosher for Passover even if not all the members are Jewish or observant.

4-    Clean out the cars, backpacks, purses, and seat cushions, and the rest of the house so that crumbs and CHOMETZ are removed.  Cleaning is a good thing.

5-    Plan your week around Passover, rather than Passover around your week.  If you are traveling (which we are, by the way) take everything you need with you.

6-    Restaurants that are not kosher for Passover are out. NO fast food or pizza or McDonald’s.  How hard can a week without eating out be?  Not hard if you plan for it.  Don’t eat out for seven days, unless you are in NY or LA and there are restaurants that are kosher, or the Hillel at college where everything is done for you.

7-    Babies and children can easily keep Passover. My kids did. My grandchildren will.  Jewish children for thousands of years have.

8-    If you have a special dietary limitation, call your rabbi and get permission to eat whatever you MUST to sustain yourself.

9-    Give up pork and shellfish for the week.  When a student asks me if he can have a ham sandwich on matzah…that’s just WRONG!  Sorry.  Hard to be non-judgmental there.  And having Easter ham during Passover is not something we do for family peace.

10-  If Passover is something you want to do, but have no idea how to start, then let the rabbis know and we’ll run more classes on how to make Passover in the coming year.  Promise yourself that you will do more this year than last and more next year than this year.  Ease into observance… but, DO something!

Who’s your rabbi?  We are two committed Reform Jews who want to be your religious leaders.  That sometimes means we may say or do things that are not popular with everyone.  We are your rabbis not just to make you feel good. We are your rabbis to help you be the best Jews you can be.  You have chosen us to be the arbiters of Jewish life and practice.  But, ultimately, the choice is yours.  And what you choose is not just a reflection on you, but on this congregation.

May your choices reflect the Torah’s highest teachings and our temple’s highest values.

Wishing you and yours a wonderful Pesach!

From my family to yours, Chag Sameach!

Fondly,

Rabbi Perlin