Auf Ruf: The Historic, the Communal, the Rational and the Mazeldik (10/12 Sermon)
For the Auf Ruf of Jonah Perlin and Debra Eichenbaum
by Rabbi Amy R. Perlin, D.D. October 12, 2012 Shabbat Bereishit
We are not barking. The words auf ruf come from the Yiddish verb aufrufen, which means to “call up” – in essence it is the same word as aliyah, but to our American ears it sounds a lot “cooler.” In the old Encyclopedia Judaica, there is only one paragraph (on p. 849 in Volume 3), which states:
Aufrufen (Yid. for “call up”) designation among Ashkenazim for the honor bestowed upon a person to ascend the bimah for the reading of the Torah at a public synagogue service. More specifically, aufrufen is the custom of honoring the bridegroom on the Sabbath prior to his wedding at which occasion he is called to the Torah erading with a special chant (reshut). In some communitites special piyyutim are recited in his honor. The bridegroom is similarly honored on the first Sabbath after his wedding. Traditionally, both before and after his wedding the bridegroom is the first who has a right to be called to the Torah, with precedence even over a bar mitzvah boy.
(No worries, Rachael, nothing will take precedence over your Bat Mitzvah this weekend!)
According to Orthodox rabbi and scholar Maurice Lamm, in his book The Jewish Way in Love and Marriage, “the purpose of the synagogue appearance is to publicly announce the forthcoming nuptials. This custom probably originated from legal requirements in medieval France and Germany when community leaders were responsible for ascertaining that there were no impediments to the validity of the marriage before permission could be granted to the couple to hold the wedding in the marriage halls.” There was a need to make sure that the couple qualified for this Jewish ceremony legally and communally. In Judaism, a couple doesn’t marry in isolation. A Jewish wedding is a communal event, as it is the creation of a Jewish family and l’dor vador the continuation of the Jewish future. Everyone in the community is invested in the Jewish couples’ future, because it is their future, as well.
In the time of the first Temple, King Solomon had a special gate built for grooms. When the grooms entered through the gate, the public gathered would greet them with the blessing, “Ha-shokehn babayit ha-zeh ye-samechakha be’vanim u’vanot” –
“May He whose Presence dwells in this house rejoice with sons and daughters.” (Maurice Lamm, The Jewish Way in Love and Marriage, p. 189)
Another reason for the traditional aufruf at the Torah, was to connect this sacred moment of marriage with the Torah, itself, thereby sanctifying and making holy under God the establishment of this sacred covenant. When a baby was born, the circumcision swaddling cloth (the wimpel) was taken and they made a Torah binder to wrap the Torah in on the day of the aufruf. We received a wimpel as a gift when Jonah was born, for just such a purpose.
We know that the pre-wedding Shabbat honoring of the groom has a long history, since Machzor Vitry, late 11th century, records the groom entering the synagogue with his ushers, donning his tallit and sitting beside the ark with them. (A Jewish bimah bachelor party! We Jews are so wild and crazy!) During the service the chazzan (cantor) inserted special prayers, chanting them for the couple, and a special reading from Isaiah 61. In the 18th century, in Frankfurt, the ceremony was extended to Friday night, which gives us good historical precedent to do this on Friday night, as we always do here at TBS.
As early as the Talmud, we have records of wine being passed by the couple and wheat, grain and nuts thrown at both the bride and groom. In the 14th century, wheat grains were thrown on the couple, according to the Maharil, Rabbi Yaakov ben Moshe Levi Moelin of Mainz (1365-1427), as the community said three times “pru u’rvu – be fruitful and multiply!”
One author uses gematria, the numerical value of the word nut, egoz, to say that nuts are thrown as a lesson to the couple. The letters of the wordegoz (nut) add up to seventeen, which is also the value for chet (sin) and tov (good). A marriage can be good or bad, depending on how the married life is conducted – we hope it will be good, of course. We throw sweet candy for the same reason, not to maim the couple, but to wish them a sweet life together.
Ultimately, the aufruf makes what might be considered private and secular, Jewish and communal. It is this Jewish communal aspect that is most important for us. It enables a couple to include everyone, even those people not able to be invited to the wedding, and gives the synagogue community the ability to celebrate with the couple, and recognize this moment of joy for the Jewish people. Just as children are brought into the Jewish people, publicly, through bris and naming, so too, does this Jewish union merit a communal blessing.
The aufruf always takes place in the synagogue, reminding us, once again, that “belonging” is central to each of our lives, our marriages, our families, and our Jewish future. Our current blessing in our modern, egalitarian times includes both bride and groom and the actual prayer is a form of the Mi Shebeirach, asking God to intervene by blessing this new marriage.
I want to remind the rationalists in the congregation that revealing that there is superstitious behavior in Judaism does not mean that Judaism is a superstitious religion. On the contrary, you will find that most of our mainstream practices belie any kind of superstitious behavior.
But, since Biblical times, our ancestors have lived in two worlds: the rational, Jewish world of their fathers, and I must admit, the fertility goddess and talisman world of their mothers. Although, both males and females were engaged in the astrological influences on their Jewish lives, as exemplified in ancient synagogues like the floor at Beit Alpha, which shows the signs of the zodiac magnificently depicted in mosaic, in the center of the synagogue floor.
You are all practitioners of the astrological and superstitious every time you say “mazel tov” as that means, “May your constellations be in order.” Mazel meaning “constellation” and tov meaning “good.” Jonah scoffs when I call him or email him with his horoscope, always reminding me that it was written by the obituary writer, as he does not believe in such nonsense, but I can assure you that he will be happy to have you wish him “good constellations” – mazel tov at the oneg this evening.
Our ancestors were afraid of things that they did not understand. So, we see throughout Jewish history methods for fighting the evil eye and other hidden demons. The methods, and the demons for that matter, were passed from generation to generation. But long after the fear was forgotten, the methods, rituals, and customs continued. New reasons and explanations arose to allow the beloved practices to continue. Who can argue with anything that offers us protection?
Superstitious practices continue, as our own version of Homeland Security, and often are given new meanings… blowing the shofar on High Holy days not only wakes us up, but scares all the evil from our lives. And wearing or carrying or having red, white, and/or blue will do the trick every time. Such practices helped our ancestors deal with psychological crises, fear, and the anxieties brought about by change and uncertainty. Weddings and engagements have all of the above, and we bring out all of our best remedies to help the couple through their all of the emotions and uncertainties inherent in “taking the plunge” into married life.
We overcome the forces of evil as Harry Potter knows all too well… with countermagic, of course! Countermagic comes in four major categories: face-to-face combat, compromise, deception, or transference. And of course Jews employ all of them. Did you know that you can do combat with the evil eye by use of the weapons of color, sound, light, objects, words, or hands (knock wood)?
Three colors ward off the evil eye: red, white and blue. The red keinehora bendel was put on the wrist or neck or crib of a new baby to protect it. A red amulet was put in the T-shirt of babies in Turkey and is to this day. I grew up, as many of you know, with red ribbon ceremonies on new cars. When Jonah was born premature, we put a mezuzah with a red ribbon on his isolet in the Neonatal Intensive Care at Fairfax Hospital where he was for a month. And when I got married over a dozen people gave me a red ribbon to put in my underwear! I know, too much information, Rabbi.
The most common phrase after Mazel tov is kinehora… not a kind of horah…. Slowly said the Yiddish originally stood for “Kein Ayen Ha-rah” – Let there be no evil eye. We just say kinehora. When I was a little girl, I thought it was the name of a relative, maybe one from Hawaii, because they said it so much:
“Look how beautiful you are, kinehora.”
“What good grades you got, kinehora.”
“You finally got a boyfriend, kinehora.”
I actually thought that my middle name might be Kinehora.
Back to red-white and blue. Sound familiar Betsy Ross? White also counters the evil eye and is the source of the color for the bride’s wedding dress. Debra will be beautiful and very safe in white!
Blue, especially light blue or the dark t’chelet of the tzitzit, is a popular combatant in Jewish and other Middle Eastern Cultures. Arab families will often paint their homes in a whitewash or their front doors blue for protection. The hamsikah, hamsa in Hebrew, is an amulet in the form of a hand with a blue stone has become a popular jewelry for Israelis and as a by-product offers an inexpensive form of national defense. All over Greece, Turkey and Israel they sell these blue eyes to offer protection and make money from tourists, myself included. The mother’s of the bride and groom will both wear blue at this wedding, perhaps to ward off the evil eye, or perhaps because they will look stunning in blue.
Speaking of mothers, it was, and in some communities still is, a custom for the two mothers to wrap a plate in a cloth and together break it over a table or a chair. Some people believed that this “breaking” on the occasion of engagement is then mirrored with good fortune at the breaking of the glass at the end of the wedding, bracketing the wedding ceremony with mazel… and both glass breakings are followed with the community yelling “Mazel Tov!” (Lamm p. 179)
Sound will scare away the evil eye. Why do we break a glass at a Jewish wedding? Not to remember the destruction of the temple in Jerusalem or to remind us to repair the world, as I like to say. The Talmud tells of a father who took his most expensive piece of fragile crystal and smashed it with his foot as his daughter walked down the aisle with her new husband. “ Why did you do such a crazy thing?!” his wife asks. “So they should have healthy grandchildren for us and a good marriage…. to scare away the ayin ha-Rah, the evil eye,” the husband answers. Grandchildren?!!!! An excellent reason to break the glass…. I love grandchildren!
We have been breaking the glass ever since Talmudic times to scare away the evil eye from the bride and groom, so that their offspring will be healthy and their marriage lasting. Breaking a glass will send the demon running from the synagogue before the crowd leaves for home. Some Orthodox Jews walk to the chuppah with candles so the light and fire will protect them from the demon.
Food helped thwart the evil eye. Wheat, candy, nuts would distract the evil eye. Salt was thrown from temple times, to 19th century Europe, to this day. A blessing on your head, have some salt with your challah. Life is filled with salty tears and bitterness. We throw the salt to ward off the bitterness and tears, in hopes that life will be sweet for us and our children. Or you can be a good Jew and give a new bride and groom something not on their registry — a fish head— to eat to insure fertility and a smart head and brains for their future offspring.
Parchment scares away the evil eye, so we have parchment in the mezuzah, or you can come and hold a Torah—which people also did for mazel! In our family, we have had a family mezuzah for Jonah’s entire life. It went with him to his SAT’s and most recently to his bar exam. The family mezuzah will be at the wedding, too.
Amulets, talisman, and charms were part of Jewish life. Do you wear a chai or Jewish star? It is not for identity… it is to protect you from the evil eye..
Another thing bubbies used to do to send the evil eye packing was spitting: “poo, poo, poo..” or as my Israeli mother said to me this morning from Israel: “tff, tff, tff!” Whatever works. You could always use a bubby shower, even if it was spit.
A woman in labor put candy under her bed so the evil eye would leave the woman and the baby alone. We throw candy at couples for so many reasons, one is definitely to tell the evil eye to leave the couple alone.
One of my favorite tricks came from Eastern European villages, where pretty brides were veiled and limped down the aisle to fool the evil eye, so that no one gave the bride a kinehora by saying how beautiful and perfect she was.
If all else failed, you could transfer your bad luck to an animal or an object. On Rosh Hashanah we use bread crumbs to rid us of our sins, just as on Yom Kippur Jews swing chickens over their heads and in biblical times put all their since on a goat and sent the goat to Azazel with them.
I would like to call up Jonah and Debra to now limp up to the bimah so we can make sure they safely get to the chuppah and beyond.
Shofar
Red Ribbon –Blue Garter –White dress
Wimpel
Blue Evil Eye stone
Salt
Wheat grains –“Pru urvu!”
Fish head
Nuts
Spit (poo, poo, poo) with the hand motions
Chicken over head
Parchment/Family Mezuzah/Jonah’s baby mezuzah
Candy is coming…
A blessing on your head, mazel tov, mazel tov!
Have the couple come up for the aufruf blessing followed by the throwing of soft candy.