Facebook Post by Rabbi Perlin in the Time of Coronavirus (4/2/2020)
Thursday’s Post 4/2/20: Overwhelmed and Overloaded
by Rabbi Amy R. Perlin, D.D.
There was an online class from LA last night that I was really looking forward to taking with Gary on Jews and Plagues. It was in my calendar. I had RSVP’d. It was being given at 6 pm in LA, which would have been 9 pm our time, here on the East coast. We were just so very tired last night that … we forgot. You heard right, we just forgot. Who am I?! I never forget anything on my calendar. I am always glued to my schedule. But, these are not normal times and I must admit that I am overwhelmed. I am writing this, not to have you write me back worried about me. I am fine. REALLY, I am fine.
I am sharing, because after weeks inside and all of this online connecting, I am feeling connection overload, and maybe you are too. I love hearing from everyone about my posts. I do. And I love writing and knowing that people need what I am saying. But, all the other stuff…reading Facebook when I never do, saying “yes,” when I should say “no”…This introvert is overwhelmed.
I have loved retirement’s luxury of living on my own timeline with few deadlines and responsibilities. Now, I find that I have said “yes” to more things than I should, and have had to put on hold the things I really want to be doing, like packing up my stuff thoughtfully and slowly, so I can move someday without a million boxes of things that need to be thrown out.
I will fulfill all my upcoming obligations. I will keep writing these pieces to help people get through this. It is what I want to do to do my part. But, I have decided that feeling overwhelmed and overprogrammed isn’t good for me right now. I don’t have the energy to put together the most amazing Zoom seder in history. Thankfully Jonah will be in charge and I trust that he will do a brilliant job. And I am not prepared to return to the responsibility of being on call for the lives of others right now, as I did when I was “in charge.” There are rabbis who are responsible for doing that, and I trust them to do their jobs. I am best utilized, as I have been in retirement, to support colleagues. Now is not my time to return to the front lines.
Shabbat is coming and I am going to take the weekend off, not just Shabbat. I want to enjoy the time with Gary, and I want to sit on the floor and go through files and pictures and memories at my leisure. So, I won’t be posting a picture of my vacation or responding to whatever letter you have been assigned on Facebook. And I think I will take a break from Zoom boxes for a few days. In the 1980’s, McDonald’s had commercials that said, “You deserve a break today.” I do. And maybe — just maybe — you do, too.