The Power of One (Kol Nidre Sermon 5773…9/25)
27th Kol Nidre service as a congregation
· Which e-mail, among dozens received daily, should I reply to if I have time to reply to only one?
· In a meeting, what is the one item we should discuss if we have only a few minutes left?
· If I am giving a speech or presentation [or sermon], what is the one take away I want the audience to leave with?
· If there is one thing I can accomplish in my career, or for my family, or one dream I’d like to fulfill in my life, what is it?
So began an article entitled, “Using the power of ‘one’ as a business practice” by Professor Ming-Jer Chen of UVA’s Darden School of Business, in the July 8th Washington Post business section (p.G2).
I don’t know why the article attracted my attention, as I breeze through the business pages everyday, in hopes that there is something about Gary’s world that will inform or interest me.
As many of you know, I have committed to visioning our Jewish future for over a year now, struggling with the issue of the needs of the “one” verses the communal “we” to find the path to the survival of liberal Judaism in the 21st century. Perhaps what attracted my attention was the word ‘one’ in quotes. But, when I read the opening four questions, I was struck by the fact that Prof. Chen wasn’t talking about a person as ‘one’ but rather the making of a singular choice from a host of many choices. It wasn’t what I expected and it got me thinking about my personal and professional priorities and choices, and how they shape my life…and yours.
The article then went on to state: “Each of us possesses an inner force that enables us to be optimally effective in all aspects of life. This is the power of “one.”
The power of “one” helps us decide what is important and how to choose among the options of what to choose and how to successfully accomplish our goal, once the choice is made. The professor writes, “steady focus on the power of one can help us achieve a balance between urgency and importance and between short-term and long-term goals. It can serve as a compass for making decisions for both the near and more distant horizons, and can resolve the sometimes difficult trade-offs and paradoxes inherent to many activities.”
Back to answering the questions:
· One email to reply to? Based on this summer, I can tell you that on any given day, it was the suicide note, the cancer diagnosis, or a matter of life and death.
· One item at a meeting? With Rabbi Cameron, it will always be the needs of a child in our school. In fact, the needs of people always trump everything else in temple life, and always seem to be the most time consuming.
· One takeaway for a sermon? Well, we’ll see at the end of this one.
· One thing to fulfill in life? Now, we get to the heart of the High Holy days for all of us. We come before God on this holiest night to listen to the words of the Kol Nidre, a prayer that literally means ALL VOWS.
What if we just could ask forgiveness or retraction for one vow? That one time we said something that was so awful or hateful, hurtful or harmful? Just one. Somehow when we atone for all of them, the individuality of each offense is diminished, isn’t it? What one thing are you sorry for more than any other? What one thing would you want the chance to go back and change in your life if you could? Did that one choice or comment or action or behavior change the course of your life? or someone else’s life?
The power of ‘one’ forces us to examine each act, not all of them collectively as we so often do during these holy days. What non-negotiables do you have in your life? That can often help you identify your “one.”
I realized that I had already placed a premium on the sanctity of my time, and the time I spend with the real, breathing people I am with, as you will NEVER see me look at my iPhone at a meal, or when I am with you. Not one glance. The human connection is far more important to me than anything or anyone at the other end of the technology. Perhaps, that is because I have refused to give my soul over to the phone or email that makes demands of my time and schedule that it has no right to do. Perhaps, it comes from knowing what life was like before the incessant need for instant gratification, as technology enables people to think they are more important and more needed than they really are. Embrace the power of this one sacred day and disconnect from all things and all distractions. That above all, is what this day is about. More important than denying oneself food, is denying oneself the need to feed on technology. Turn it all off for this one day.
As a Jewish community, there are many people engaged in “engagement” these days. Engagement is the number one ‘buzz word’ of our time. The current Jewish script goes: If we engage Jews, and the unaffiliated, and youth, then Judaism will survive for another generation. But, with Prof. Chen’s methodology, we realize that engagement is only a means to find “the one” thing, that one force, that one reason that makes Judaism compelling for each one of us. Jewish survival will be the result of finding that “one thing” that can engage many Jews. But, engagement and survival are not “the one.” They are the means and the end.
I am certain that the answer to engagement is NOT alternative Bar and Bat Mitzvah programs that make Judaism fit into life, rather than life fit into Judaism.
I am certain that the answer to engagement is not creating a lowest common denominator Judaism to attract the unaffiliated, offering the least amount of responsibility and accountability to a group of people who will use Judaism as a revolving door, coming in when it suits them and leaving when it does not.
And I am absolutely certain that the answer to engagement is NOT “free Judaism” (which isn’t free really, it just means that the most committed 10%, not the richest, all of you are paying for the rest of the Jewish community to freeload on your rabbis, congregation, institutions, and rituals that preserve Judaism for those who only want to plug in for birth, death, and a handful of holidays and life cycles in between.
You can’t have Torah without mitzvah.
You can’t have tradition without ritual practice.
You can’t have Jewish history without acknowledging that you are either part of that living history obligated to continue the tradition l’dor vador, or you have abandoned your responsibility to it and done your part to kill the Jewish future by forgetting the Jewish past with your actions in the Jewish present.
You can’t be a good Jew without “doing Jewish.”
You can’t be an ethical person without having an identifiable moral compass for your life.
You can’t get engaged, if you don’t want commitment.
Kol Nidre is about a time when Jews were forbidden to be Jews. It is a prayer that was said by people who would have been persecuted for even ONE Jewish act. How unbelievable is it that we live in an age where all things Jewish are possible, but so many Jews do not identify Judaism as the ONE priority that guides their lives – from the ethics and values, to the Torah and tradition, to the calendar and commitments, to the God and the goodness.
I am so very tired of the “too tired” Jews, the “too busy” Jews, the “too focused on other things” Jews, the “too absorbed in other activities” Jews, the “been there and done that” Jews. Traditional Judaism is asking more and more of its adherents and its numbers are on the rise, surprising Jewish demographers around the globe. How on earth can our answer to Jewish engagement be LESS and not MORE. That is why I find this idea of the power of ‘one’ so compelling.
The power of ONE is that force within us that simultaneously helps us maximize our unique oneness as human beings, while strengthening, and empowering, and nurturing our oneness in partnership with others.
What is the ONE thing that is your essence, so personal that it is the most powerful “one” priority of your life? What is it in your life that all of your life is about? All for that “one?” and what is the “one” part of you that connects you to all?
In a business example, Chen cites Howard Schultz’s one principle as the CEO of Starbuck’s: It is a people business that just happens to sell coffee, and the one vision was to have a “third place” for customers: home, work, Starbucks. Sounds so good right now!
For Disney, the power of one evolved from “Mickey in the middle” offering a centrality to the brand and organization, to a “new oneness” where all the businesses coalesced under the idea of “family entertainment.”
The WOW, as one of my favorite people in the world likes to call it, is that in answering the question, “What is your ONE?” and Why does it give you power and your life direction? — you are also figuring out how you as one person fit into the greater world in which you live. Your ONE determines everything about you – your relationship with family and friends, your faith, your work, your interaction with nature and the planet, and your ONE will determine whether you feel fulfilled and blessed, or whether you experience despair and hopelessness, or whether you wallow in same-old — same-old meaningless pursuits that do not repair our world, or make a difference to anyone, even you.
Knowing what your “one” is, will help you lead a values-driven life as a good person and often a successful one. If you are a Jew, knowing what your “one” is can help you find that meaning, purpose, and sense of belonging in being rooted to a 5773 year old tradition.
If you are a member of this congregation and you are living a Jewish life even though you are not officially Jewish, you may find that this is the time to say that your “one” is grounded in Judaism, and I stand ready to help you explore that option.
If you are happy living in our community without being labeled, then we embrace you with open arms and will help you find what part of this Jewish world is meaningful for you on your terms.
Knowing what your “one” is, will make life less about YOU and more about LIVING. The power of one guiding principle, value, or purpose, will help you define how you relate to God – Torah – Social Justice – Mitzvot – Love – Caring – Kindness – and will simultaneously strengthen the oneness you have in relationship with those whom you treasure, and the communities in which you belong.
Once you find your “one” —
You become the piece and the entire puzzle.
You are the note and the symphony.
You are the question and the answer.
For me, when I ask the question, “How can I insure the survival of the Jewish people?” I know that the answer is locked into the fact that I am devoted and committed to the “one-ness” of Judaism as THE guide and sustenance of my life and being. For me, Judaism can’t be the question. For me, Judaism is the answer.
One of my Confirmation students, on the first day of Sunday school, said that being Jewish was just a part of who she was. In our year of making Jewish choices, my goal for that class is to help each student recognize that when Jewish is an adjective it competes with all the other adjectives of your life. But, when Jew is your noun, it is so much easier to determine the “one” of your being. When the starting point is being a Jew, then you can contemplate how to make Jewish choices, in order to lead a more meaningful and fulfilling life.
Let’s get back to tonight’s agenda:
Kol Nidre – All Vows.
And Tonight’s takeaway – identify just one.
If you could take back one vow? Or make one vow?
If you could make just one promise?
If you could give just one dollar?
If you had just one hour to make a difference?
If you had just one day to change the world?
If you have just one thing to be known for when you die?
According to Prof. Chen, “The effectiveness of the power of one requires a few commitments: focus, discipline, conviction in an idea and equanimity when you find yourself on the wrong side of the equation.”
With focus, discipline and conviction, what is it that will help you be on the right side of life’s equation this Yom Kippur? And how do you find the “one” that makes you feel “at-one?”
In a mountain village in Europe many centuries ago, there was a nobleman who wondered what legacy he might be able to leave for his townspeople. At last, he decided to build a synagogue. None of the local folk saw the plans for the building until it was finally finished. When the people entered for the first time they marveled at its beauty and detail. Then someone asked, “Where are the lamps? How will it be lighted?” The nobleman pointed to brackets, which were on every wall of the synagogue. Then he gave each family a lamp to bring with them every time they came to the synagogue. “Each time you are not here,” he said, “your place within the synagogue will be unlit. This will be a reminder that, whenever you fail to attend, especially when the community needs you, some part of God’s house will be dark.”[based on a story told by Rabbi Jake Jackofsky, retold by Seymour Rossell, TheEssential Jewish Stories, Ktav 2011]
God has given each of us one light to bring with us in life. When you identify your light, and you discover its power, then you can bring it with you into your world and you can illuminate the darkness in ours. I pray that as you seek to find the “one” within you, you will find that when you bring your light here, you matter. How you find your light within matters to all of us. For when you find your “one” you add light to your world, and to ours. Know that when you make Judaism matter in your life, you help Judaism matter for all of us. We live in a world where we want our lives to matter. The take away:
Your ‘one’ matters. Your light matters. You matter.